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Friendships



One of the most common topics that I discuss with students is friendships. How to make friends, being a friend, what to put up with from friends, how to support friends, how to distance yourself from friends, how to walk away from friends. There is so many facets to friendships and even more facets to how to navigate the ever changing landscape of humans in general. 

What is really comes down to is a few things-

  • Find people who have a commonality with you, but also have some differences as well.  You want to make sure that you have 
  • Surround yourself with people who have the same moral and value systems that you hold. 
  • Find people who you can support and who can support you. 
  • The quickest way to become a better person is to surround yourself with good people. 
  • Do not go into friendships with the expectation that you are owed something from the person. Go into friendships and expect nothing and appreciate everything. 
  • Its ok to say no. "No" is a complete sentence and a good friends will respect your no. A good friend will also not push you to do things you do not want to participate in or be apart of.
  • Friendships also may have their own time stamp. There may be a time that a friendship needs a break or it may be time to walk away from a friendship. If a friendship is no longer serving you, then its ok to walk away.  Not all friendships need closure. Sometimes allowing yourself the freedom to not have answers can be a liberating moment for yourself. 
  • Its ok to disagree, but its how you disagree with others. Being kind, compassionate and leaning in to what the person is saying is the most important. As humans, we want to be heard. Just because you listen does not mean you have to agree, but sometimes its ok to silently disagree. 
  • Being defensive means that you are in a place of feeling the need to defend yourself. Its ok to feel defensive, its all about how you act when you acknowledge the defensive feeling.  Being defensive with a friend allows you to step in a role of negativity. A good friend will acknowledge your feelings but also talk to you about how they are feeling without taking things personally. 

These are just a few things that come to mind when I think of friendships. Each friendship is unique with its own dynamics. Be patient with friends and communicate your feelings so they are aware of how you are feeling. 



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